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there's this thing that puzzles me a lot. how are people able to continue with life knowing the fact that so many people are dying in this world. one click on your mouse might just signify the death of yet another human being somewhere across the world, yet we are able to act like nothing has happened, like how we did not just lose one more person in the hands of suicide, cancer or god knows what. it's so infuriating knowing that people are able to joke about one's death or easily say the word 'die' as if that word does not carry a grave meaning behind it's back. how are we able to continue on with life knowing that someone close to us just passed away, without a proper goodbye or anything. he's gone. just like that. slowly, in his sleep, he went to a better place and decided that it was a good place to stay for the rest of his like and never come back. death is such a bitch. it takes away lives as if they're worth nothing. the deceased is not able to have a proper goodbye nor are the closed ones able to have their last words. it's as though they're just like "oh his time is up time to take him up and never come back down". but the people suffering the most are the people around him, not himself. death is such an irresponsible act, you decide to dump everything in this world and leave for a better place, leaving all your shit for the people around you to clear. and together with the shitty feelings your family, friends get with your death, the entire feeling just sucks balls. then you have to go through this entire process of crying your eyes out, telling people that he actually passed away, and generally just getting over the fact that he is not here anymore, and will probably never ever come back. no, he will most definitely not come back. and this brings me back to my first point - that life goes on even after someone die. yes, they may mourn for your death for the first few weeks, but thereafter, after they proceed on with their own lives - without you, you are just going to become a memory that is being kept at a tiny corner of their brains, and soon to be forgotten and into oblivion.

sorry for the major word vomit but i couldn't stand it and i had to let it out somewhere. my thoughts are so jumbled up it's so difficult to even form coherent sentences with them. yes in conclusion, dying sucks and don't even think of dying because what you'll end up hurting is the people around you.